“then I am already sacrificed …” (2nd Tim 4.6)
Are you ready to give away yourself completely and back-disoriented? This is a decision of the will, not of the feeling. Legend God that you are ready to sacrifice yourself completely for Him. Then suppose the results how they come, and does not weight you about what God maybe sends to you., God probably lets you experience an internal crisis in which to you nobody can help. Externally your life maybe also looks as usual; the change takes place in your will. If you have got through the crisis in your will, it is not important to you any more if she spreads to your external relations. If you do not fix the thing first with God at the level of the will, you will go to ruin in the case of emergency only in self-pity!
“If the victim with ropes binds to the horns of the altar.” Thus the English King James Bible returns psalm 118.27. You must be ready to let lay on the altar and to stand the fire; be ready to experience what the altar shows symbolically; combustion, cleaning and the segregation for one single purpose. With it all your wishes and feeling connections are taken away which are not founded in God or are aimed on him. But not you take away them, but God! You ”bind the victim. to the horns of the altar” and pay attention not to go to ruin in self-pity if the fire is lighted. After you have gone by the fire, nothing more can shake you or discourage. If then a crisis enters again, you will see that it does not as move you any more as earlier. Which fire approaches you?
Then legend God that you are ready to be the victim will show God you that he is everything what you have from him imaginary.